Category: Goals & Dreams

Hmm. I need to get better at describing my business to people. When I describe it haphazardly it sounds like a little of everything and, at the same time, a lot of nothing. Yikes. I was caught off guard today when a professor I really admire asked me about my future goals. I kinda balked. I wanted to make it clear it was about writing and speaking primarily, but I ended up awkwardly talking a lot about the money aspect to validate that it’s a substantive career path. Then, I also started talking about comedy and improv and, looking back, it was a hot mess. I was trying to just say it all so quickly and it came out too quickly. Like word vomit. Not grool.

I seemed to have forgotten the basic rules of an elevator pitch. You give just a snippet, and if they’re interested, they’ll ask for more. Then you can feed it to them one digestible bite at a time. I know that I am capable of doing this with my business plans, because I’ve done it many times before. In fact, I did it masterfully just last week. After chatting with a colleague for a while about Find Mind Space (FMS) he said this in a follow up email, “Big props to you on taking your personal insight, packaging it, and delivering it in a digestible format for so many people that could use it. Definitely sign me up.”

So why did I screw it up this time? I think it happened for 2 reasons; 1) I was excited (and probably a little nervous) and 2) Because my plans are approaching unicorn status

Unicorn status, I’m intrigued. Tell me more. (Didn’t you know I’m a mind reader?)

I’m borrowing this term from the world of startup and venture capital. A unicorn simply refers to a startup that is valued over $1 billion. Today I read about a company called Zwift that is attempting to merge video games with group fitness. The CEO recently said the company is “approaching unicorn status” due to its latest round of funding and because of its big ambitions. They want to make home workouts more interactive, immersive, social and eventually “bring Zwift to the Olympics.” Whoa.

Those are some big goals. And when I read the blurb about it in The Hustle and Techcrunch I kept thinking, “dude slow down a sec.” They went from 0 to 100 so fast that I couldn’t keep up. I could track the initial popularity of the company, but admittedly I struggled with seeing how this could have anything to do with the Olympics. And that’s coming from someone who is very open to big ideas. Then it hit me that this is the same issue I’m having when describing FMS, my new project.

I have been developing the ideas for FMS for the past 3 years. There are so many potential avenues to explore and areas where we can make a real impact. So when people ask me what’s next, it all comes gushing out. I’m talking about the Olympics and they’re really just wondering what I plan to do after I graduate. Moving forward it’s going to take a lot of self-control to not dump all my long term plans and ambitions on people all at once.

When I think about Find Mind Space and our future I see us approaching unicorn status (not so much the $1 billion valuation part, but more the huge ambitions of changing the world and making a real lasting impact part). Nevertheless, it isn’t my job right now to convince anyone of that trajectory. Right now my job is to explain who we are and what we’re about in a clear and concise manner.

So for my future elevator pitches, here’s my brief explanation:

Me: I’m not planning to go the traditional route in academia once I graduate.
Person: Oh, so what are you planning to do?
Me: I am starting my own company that will focus on science communication and student advocacy. I’m very passionate about increasing academic success and improving graduate student quality of life.
Person: So how will you do that? How will you meet those goals?
Me: I will mainly create digital resources across a variety of platforms (e.g. podcasts, blogs, online courses, ebooks, etc) and also do in-person advocacy in the form of speaking engagements and workshops.
Person: What about your research?
Me: I still plan to research how people can successfully navigate various social contexts and environments. It’s basically taking my current research with voles, and looking at a more applied perspective in humans.
Person: That sounds really cool! And it sounds like it’s a great integration of your interests and expertise.
Me: Yeah, I’m very excited about it all!

Then once I’ve laid the groundwork, it’ll be up to whoever I’m talking with to inquire about more specific details concerning where FMS is headed. Huzzah!

After some reflection I feel a bit better about my train wreck of an explanation earlier. At least I turned it into a teachable moment and was able to salvage something from my embarrassment. And at the end of the day, deep down, I truly do believe that FMS is approaching unicorn status, but I’m fine with not trying to convince anyone anytime soon.

So you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Recently I spoke with a good friend of mine, another senior graduate student in my department. We had just talked with a faculty job candidate interviewing in our department. The candidate was having lunch with a small group of us grad students when she made this seemingly innocuous comment; “I’ve seen places where the faculty feel strongly that students not going into academia are making a mistake and throwing their lives away. Like the faculty are unable to mentor students not heading to tenure track positions. That’s garbage!”.

Whew. My chest got tight and I took a shallow breath when she said this. It was because I knew that sentiment all too well. Once I complete my PhD, I am considering other career options beyond the traditional tenure track route. There have been many faculty in my department that have been less than thrilled with my decision; some even remarking that it’s a shame that “certain demographics” tend to leave academia. Yeah. I know. We could have a whole separate conversation breaking down systemic reasons for low retention of women, and underrepresented people in the academy, but alas that’s not what this post is about. This post is about being bold and relentless in striving for what you want.

As my friend and I chatted in the hallway after the meeting, we shared our experiences about considering life outside of academia. Both of our stories had many parallels. Mostly, they overlapped when discussing depression and generally feeling miserable at a certain point in grad school. I haven’t told my story fully here but I intend to in due time. There was about a year and a half period between my 4th and 5th year of grad school where I was floundering. I couldn’t help asking, “Is this it?” “Is this what I’m resigned to for the rest of my life in academia?”. I was so disillusioned, discouraged, and downright unhappy. I kept telling myself, “you’ll snap out of it”. I got help and I started seeing a therapist. I began taking medication for anxiety. I did all the “right” things. However, I still was deeply unhappy and unfulfilled. Things only began to get better about a year ago. It was in January 2018 that I finally was able to admit to myself that I didn’t want to pursue a tenure track position at a big research institution. Whoa. I’ve been convinced since I was 16 years old that THAT was exactly who I would become.

We shared in the hallway all the ways people have tried to discourage these decisions to leave academia. They imply that maybe you’re just in a rut and that there’s so much more to look forward to that you just can’t see as a grad student. But I contend that THIS is the clearest I’ve seen in years. It IS scary. I will admit that my next steps would be simpler if I was following the traditional path, but I have found something now that brings me so such fulfillment and purpose. I have found my why.

Why.
Why do I get up in the morning? What inspires me to work hard every day? Why do I do what I do, day in and day out?

My why is teaching, inspiring, mentoring, and empowering others. When I’m doing those things, my life is in order and I feel like I can accomplish anything.

I shared with my friend how I felt after my last two speaking engagements (One I gave in June at my high school alma mater and the other was a workshop for teen scholars I led over Thanksgiving break). I shared the raw emotions and sheer unbridled joy that I experienced in being able to see the direct impact I was having on future students’ lives. It was powerful and palpable, and was a sense of purpose that my research alone hasn’t been able to come close to delivering in a long time.

As I attempted to explain all these feelings my friend began to tear up. She said that my passion had greatly inspired her. Little did she know her own reaction was also so very impactful. It reminded me that, as graduate students, we need to see others pursuing their dreams and fighting for things that matter to them; especially when it involves a life beyond the tenure track pathway.

I just started reading How to Be a Bawse by Lilly Singh. She is an incredible woman, a force of nature, and I look up to her on so many levels. I highly recommend reading this book. This morning I read this statement that really resonated with me, “Your happiness is stronger than [your] fear.”

I was afraid to admit that my career was moving beyond what I thought it would always be in academia. I was really scared. Terrified. I didn’t want to acknowledge that my academic dream wasn’t the life I wanted anymore. And yet, I was more willing to be miserable for nearly two years than to face the truth. Well, I’m not willing to make that trade any longer. I’m choosing happiness and purpose on my own terms. Is there more uncertainty along this path? Certainly, hehe. But I’d rather step out boldly and confidently into the unknown than remain undeveloped and unfulfilled where it’s safe.

It’s because my happiness is so much bigger than my fear.
And so is yours.
So go after it.