I originally wrote this piece during the summer of 2018. I felt totally drained and needed to reflect on everything going on in my life. Summer is always when I try to tackle my biggest projects of the year. This summer is no exception as I complete my PhD thesis (Ahhhh!).
I’m revisiting these thoughts and finding them extremely helpful even 2 years later.
I’m right in the middle of my field season, and I’m beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. My schedule is very busy and punctuated by the times, twice a day, that I need to go outside to do my research. I try to fit life in the margins, between my two research checks, but it’s proving to be difficult. I also have tried the method of back loading everything until after the second check of the day. “I’ll work on that draft when I’m done with fieldwork for the day,” is what I often tell myself. Yet when the time comes I’m so exhausted that I delay again and pledge the work will get done tomorrow. But tomorrow is just as busy as today, and yesterday, and the day before that.
So what do I do? Well, I do my best. A few years ago that would not have been the case. I would have stressed out until I made myself anxious, depressed, and physically sick. But I’m not that person anymore. I was celebrating this growth with my therapist a few weeks ago. I told her how I feel overwhelmed and yet I’m still calm and generally positive. It’s because I’ve come to realize that I can’t do it all. I am unable to be great at my research, and CrossFit, and supporting family & friends, and improv and rap and comedy and piano and guitar and helping with church and leading Bible study and starting a blog and cleaning my house, etc. etc. etc. You get it: my life is busy. But so is everyone else’s. If prompted, anyone could make a list similar to what I did that encompasses all the commitments vying for their time. And there is one succinct conclusion tying all of our lists together…they’re too much.
There is too much list and not enough US to go around.
Period.
No productivity hack, amounts of caffeine, or surge of willpower will help us conquer everything that requires our time, energy, or attention.
So what should we do? We do our best.
Every day I do what I can. And at the end of the day I celebrate everything I did, rather than ruminate on the things I didn’t. That’s living life in the balance for me. I can still feel the pressure to get everything done, but I now know how to better manage it. And instead of promising everything to everyone, I let folks know up front that things are hectic. I say, “That sounds like a cool thing, but my life is currently frantic from field work, so I will do what I can.” That way there is no guilt or shame, but all you committed to is what you can do.
So what can you do? Where do you set the threshold of what you’re able to accomplish
Well, it depends.
Some days you accomplish more than others; the key is to be flexible and adaptive. For example, I’ve learned to listen to my body (i.e. if I’m tired, achy, sleepy, hungry, etc.) and accommodate what it needs, rather than powering through tasks. Maybe I wanted to do 4 things before bed, but I feel very fatigued and my ability to concentrate is waning on task 3. It’s all good. I celebrate completing my 2 tasks, and I reset for tomorrow. Or sometimes I’ll take an hour nap and see how I feel later.
The key is knowing and truly believing that you didn’t let anyone down. You did not let the folks who are waiting on the task to be completed down, and more importantly you didn’t let yourself down. Because nothing is more important than taking care of yourself. Thus, all the people and organizations that rely on you are worse off if you’re not 100%. Now, I’m not saying stretch this out and be straight up unreliable. You still gotta get the job done, you still have to deliver. But what no one tells you is that life still goes on, even when things are done at 3-5 day standard shipping. Not everything warrants overnight express or priority mail. You can still be a reliable, efficient, and productive member of society without running yourself into the ground.
I found that having organizational systems in place can ease some of the burden. Two things that have helped are batching and routines. My mornings can be a bit unruly. But when I start my day with purpose and get some momentum going, I’m much more productive. All of a sudden what I’m capable of accomplishing begins to expand. It’s just a few simple tasks. Get up, brush your teeth, wash your face, and make your bed. That’s it. But those simple acts make it hard to get back in bed and waste the morning browsing social media on my phone. Instead, I get started right away on my to-do list for the day, and completing those early items gives me the boost to tackle the other items.
Also, batching tasks has helped tremendously. Particularly, I’m referring to meal prep. I don’t mind cooking, but I rarely have the time and energy to do it well. So now I’ll cook dinner for 2-3 days at a time. I will portion the food in Tupperware containers, and now I don’t have to think about making meals for a few days. Dinner becomes a less daunting task, and I can continue being productive afterwards, rather than being sidelined by all the cleaning of pots and pans.
There are probably a bunch of other things that can boost what you’re able to do. They will likely be more centered around your strengths and weaknesses.
Still it’s so important to know your limits.
You won’t be able to do it all.
You can’t be everything to everyone; some folks will have to wait.
And you know what? They’ll be just fine.