Category: Productivity

I originally wrote this piece during the summer of 2018. I felt totally drained and needed to reflect on everything going on in my life. Summer is always when I try to tackle my biggest projects of the year. This summer is no exception as I complete my PhD thesis (Ahhhh!).

I’m revisiting these thoughts and finding them extremely helpful even 2 years later.

I’m right in the middle of my field season, and I’m beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. My schedule is very busy and punctuated by the times, twice a day, that I need to go outside to do my research. I try to fit life in the margins, between my two research checks, but it’s proving to be difficult. I also have tried the method of back loading everything until after the second check of the day. “I’ll work on that draft when I’m done with fieldwork for the day,” is what I often tell myself. Yet when the time comes I’m so exhausted that I delay again and pledge the work will get done tomorrow. But tomorrow is just as busy as today, and yesterday, and the day before that.

So what do I do? Well, I do my best. A few years ago that would not have been the case. I would have stressed out until I made myself anxious, depressed, and physically sick. But I’m not that person anymore. I was celebrating this growth with my therapist a few weeks ago. I told her how I feel overwhelmed and yet I’m still calm and generally positive. It’s because I’ve come to realize that I can’t do it all. I am unable to be great at my research, and CrossFit, and supporting family & friends, and improv and rap and comedy and piano and guitar and helping with church and leading Bible study and starting a blog and cleaning my house, etc. etc. etc. You get it: my life is busy. But so is everyone else’s. If prompted, anyone could make a list similar to what I did that encompasses all the commitments vying for their time. And there is one succinct conclusion tying all of our lists together…they’re too much. 

There is too much list and not enough US to go around.
Period. 
No productivity hack, amounts of caffeine, or surge of willpower will help us conquer everything that requires our time, energy, or attention.

So what should we do? We do our best.

Every day I do what I can. And at the end of the day I celebrate everything I did, rather than ruminate on the things I didn’t. That’s living life in the balance for me. I can still feel the pressure to get everything done, but I now know how to better manage it. And instead of promising everything to everyone, I let folks know up front that things are hectic. I say, “That sounds like a cool thing, but my life is currently frantic from field work, so I will do what I can.” That way there is no guilt or shame, but all you committed to is what you can do. 

So what can you do? Where do you set the threshold of what you’re able to accomplish
Well, it depends. 

Some days you accomplish more than others; the key is to be flexible and adaptive. For example, I’ve learned to listen to my body (i.e. if I’m tired, achy, sleepy, hungry, etc.) and accommodate what it needs, rather than powering through tasks. Maybe I wanted to do 4 things before bed, but I feel very fatigued and my ability to concentrate is waning on task 3. It’s all good. I celebrate completing my 2 tasks, and I reset for tomorrow. Or sometimes I’ll take an hour nap and see how I feel later. 

The key is knowing and truly believing that you didn’t let anyone down. You did not let the folks who are waiting on the task to be completed down, and more importantly you didn’t let yourself down. Because nothing is more important than taking care of yourself. Thus, all the people and organizations that rely on you are worse off if you’re not 100%. Now, I’m not saying stretch this out and be straight up unreliable. You still gotta get the job done, you still have to deliver. But what no one tells you is that life still goes on, even when things are done at 3-5 day standard shipping. Not everything warrants overnight express or priority mail. You can still be a reliable, efficient, and productive member of society without running yourself into the ground.

I found that having organizational systems in place can ease some of the burden. Two things that have helped are batching and routines. My mornings can be a bit unruly. But when I start my day with purpose and get some momentum going, I’m much more productive. All of a sudden what I’m capable of accomplishing begins to expand. It’s just a few simple tasks. Get up, brush your teeth, wash your face, and make your bed. That’s it. But those simple acts make it hard to get back in bed and waste the morning browsing social media on my phone. Instead, I get started right away on my to-do list for the day, and completing those early items gives me the boost to tackle the other items.

Also, batching tasks has helped tremendously. Particularly, I’m referring to meal prep. I don’t mind cooking, but I rarely have the time and energy to do it well. So now I’ll cook dinner for 2-3 days at a time. I will portion the food in Tupperware containers, and now I don’t have to think about making meals for a few days. Dinner becomes a less daunting task, and I can continue being productive afterwards, rather than being sidelined by all the cleaning of pots and pans.

There are probably a bunch of other things that can boost what you’re able to do. They will likely be more centered around your strengths and weaknesses. 

Still it’s so important to know your limits. 
You won’t be able to do it all. 
You can’t be everything to everyone; some folks will have to wait. 
And you know what? They’ll be just fine.

A Day Well Spent

Yesterday felt good.

It started slow, and admittedly it was tough to get out of bed. Then I thought of all the things I could do around the house. At first that stressed me out because I have a ton of unfinished projects in various forms. Then I decided to get organized. Export, export, export! It seems like there’s a bunch to do, and it can be overwhelming when all of the tasks are swirling in my head.

So I grabbed a whiteboard and wrote a quick list titled, “Things that will help me feel better & boost my mood.” That’s it. They were simple things like make my bed, empty the trash from my room, wash my face, go for a walk, fold & put away the clean laundry I did yesterday.

When I was in the bathroom washing up I played a new curated playlist on Spotify (I love those algorithms, they seem to always know what I need) called Feel Good Instrumentals. It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it was lovely. And I FELT GOOD. Despite the fact that it was 1pm and I was just getting ready, I was happy. And I was proud of myself for even doing that. I had spent the entirety of the day before in bed. So I could see progress. I was becoming “myself” again, or at least back to baseline.

For posterity I’ll mention that this is like 5 or 6 days into the nationwide protests following George Floyd’s murder. And at first I couldn’t place my fatigue, and then I realized it was in response to trauma. I felt emotionally overwhelmed, hypervigilant, and that was taking a toll on my energy and motivation. No wonder I spent most of Sunday retreating into a favorite fictional novel that I’ve previously read. I was shielding myself and doing something I enjoyed that required low effort on my part and also offered an escape.

I was able to shake off the bit of guilt for Sunday. In fact, I put it out of mind altogether. I remember looking in the mirror as I washed my face thinking, “Yesterday doesn’t matter. Let’s just focus on today, or right now.”

And I should say I didn’t end up finishing most of the things on the list. I wrote down ten things, and I completed four. And those four things gave me momentum. It helped me to push forward and begin planning other projects and ideas. It got me moving around my home and attending to other things. It was a start.

I remember thinking the following as I ended my day…

Now I feel good. I’m chilling in bed with a chocolate chip cookie, and I’m watching What’s New Scooby Doo on Netflix. I’m proud of my accomplishments today because it feels like the beginning of something great. Like I’m just starting to get back to my regular self. I love her. I love who she is when she is her whole authentic self.

So when I get a glimpse or a hint that she’s returning to her “final form,” it brings me joy. I wait with anticipation for tomorrow because I know I am once again drawing closer to the best version of her, the best version of me. And four simple tasks helped me get here, helped me start the process.

Today was a start.
Today was a day well spent.

Yesterday, my friend Cassie was messaging me about grad school. She is planning to go back to school after being in the workforce for 5+ years and is currently studying for the GRE. She texted me and said, “Studying is hard. How do you stay motivated?”

And my answer was simple.

I don’t.

I don’t stay motivated. Some days I feel like I can accomplish anything. I feel like each item on my to-do list is no match for me and my killer productivity instinct. I feel unstoppable. Sometimes. Many other times I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I’m never going to catch up on all the readings, meetings, experiments, statistics, and manuscript drafts. I feel like I’m sinking and drowning. Some days I feel like a failure. I feel like an imposter and that I shouldn’t even bother today because my best won’t be good enough. Instead, I just want to curl up in my bed and watch netflix. I feel all of these things, thankfully never all at once. So how do I tackle such an arduous and long task, like grad school, when my day to day motivation changes so much?

I am kind to myself. I am kind, forgiving, and I extend myself grace.

I told my friend Cassie, “The key is to not beat yourself up. It’s ok that motivation ebbs and flows.”

I’ve learned that when I’m less than productive, being upset with myself does very little to actually solve the problem. It’s then that I just end up feeling anxious, depressed, AND unproductive.

I told Cassie that the goal is to be disciplined but also be reasonable.

The funny thing about this whole exchange was that, in the moment, I had been feeling pretty anxious about my current productivity. I knew that I was doing “ok” but I also knew that I need to step it up a few notches to meet my graduation goals. So I was feeling that pressure and feeling a bit uneasy because of it. It was funny to see that I was so willing to tell another to stay grounded, while losing my own perspective.

After chatting with her I was headed out to another engagement. On the walk over I put on my favorite playlist; the one I retreat to when I’m wound up and I just need to be calmed down. Those hand picked songs, on my aptly named “chill” playlist, help to keep me centered.

I also have a playlist on youtube called “Chill Vibes” with many of those same songs that calm me down. Feel free to check it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rjH98cvqsg&list=PLKxHeK7x9xNIk4dA2OOG2LKO6cYOwHeu3

In those 10 minutes of walking I briefly reviewed everything I had done that week. Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of our action items completed when we feel like our to-do list isn’t getting any shorter. I took that time to remind myself that I am ok. I am worthy, competent, and wise. And although there are still things unfinished, look at what I HAVE accomplished thus far. And in those 10 minutes I remembered that I’m doing fine. I’m doing better than fine, in fact, I’m doing great. And it’s okay to acknowledge that you occasionally miss the mark because this doesn’t negate all the great things you have done.

I am always greatly encouraged by Ben Franklin’s quote:

“I was surprised to find myself much fuller of faults than I had imagined, but I had the satisfaction of seeing them diminish.”

Even Ben Franklin acknowledged his weaknesses. And he was also kind in recognizing that each day was a chance to improve and close that gap in performance.

Give yourself that same opportunity. Give yourself the space and grace to forgive yourself when you’re not always motivated or productive. It’s ok.

Be kind. Be disciplined. Be reasonable.
And keep going.